Friday, December 31, 2010
Looking back on my old posts,
i realize that i was such a retard. i mean, who types like that? all random and what not. nothing made sense, i jumped from topic to topic with no appropriate transition? wow, i was so annoying. probably still am. my brain hurts from reading those old blogs.
This is my girlfriend.
we haven't been going out for very long, although it seems like it. we may even be rushing it just a little bit, but i can honestly say i don't really give a fuck. we've been officially going out for a month and eleven days (i promise i won't forget, haha). it feels like it's been so much longer. is that a good thing or a bad thing? i don't know. but right now, we're both really happy with each other. so here's my post that you will never hear me say out loud.
i really really like him. he's only my second boyfriend (oh yeah, he's not my girlfriend) and i feel like there won't be anyone else. i know it stupid to think that, considering i'm only fifteen, but that's honestly how i feel. i can't imagine myself with anyone else. it's a very naive and foolish thought, and even i know that it's not going to last forever, to face the harsh reality.
i love how we are with each other. we can joke around and make fun of each other without us getting butthurt. we can be immature together and act like the best of friends, rather than being romantic and cheesy every fuckin' minute of our lives. we do have our moments tho. more him, than me, cuz i'm practically a man.
oh, and that too! he understands that its really hard for me to show my feelings about him. i don't know why it is, it just is. he doesn't pressure me to blurt out my every thought about him. i always say, "can i tell you later?" because i can't just collect my feelings and thoughts just at that moment. he knows that i like him and that i care about him, but sometimes he has his doubts because i don't always show him or reassure him of how much i do.
so i'm a year older than him. that's kinda weird, isn't it? but i've almost gotten over that. a year's not much. i look like a cougar, but i guess that's...... okay. he's worth it. when we we're together, he doesn't act like a freshman. i personally think he's very mature for his age, or the title of "freshman" rather. either that, or i'm just very immature for my age. yeah, that's probably it.
let's see. so here it is. what do i like about him? i like how he's always there for me. he can make jokes knowing i won't take it up the ass. he makes me laugh without even trying. i just feel so comfortable around him. i don't think there's anything i haven't told him. i can tell him anything, and i know he won't judge me. we can talk about anything and everything, without getting that awkward feeling. and i love our playful little arguments. hmm... i don't know what else to say. he always asks me what do i like about him. i honestly don't know what it is that draws me to him. maybe it's his cute little baby face. haha. i don't know. well, he makes me extremely happy without even trying.
I've decided to use my blogger again.
i know for a fact that no one will read my posts on blogger (blogspot?), so i've decided to make this my online diary. a place where i get to vent without being judged, and also a place where i get to say whatever the fuck i want, because believe me, i have a lot to say. this is where i get to be as honest as it gets.
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